How Project Sunday Morning Café Got Its Start: Dr. Tom Shares His Story
Two incredibly significant things happened in my life that set me on a course that would eventually lead me to want to create “Project Sunday Morning Café.” The first was my growing-up family—so full of promise, love, and goodness—that disintegrated.
The crazy-making experience of a deeply good, smart, and loving dad with an alcohol addiction caused him to do things to me that were neither good nor loving, and certainly not smart. That left me with some inner wounds that I needed to heal so that I could be okay. Second, just as important, probably more important, was the inbreaking Presence of God that showed up for me right in the middle of all that mess. I really, really wanted more and more of that, so I’ve been pursuing intimacy with that Presence in many, many ways ever since.
You know what you get when you combine inner wounds from a messed-up childhood with profound religious experience? A resilience researcher/psychotherapist, who is convinced that the Pulsing Presence of the Divine at the core of each of us is the most powerful source of resilience as well as connection. That’s been the foundation of my personality, my work, and my family life for over thirty years now.
Dr. Tom and his family on vacation in the Upper Peninsula in Michigan.
Introducing Something New: Project Sunday Morning Cafe
Dr. Tom has spent three decades exploring resilience; studying (earning his doctorate), researching, practicing, and helping others strengthen their resilience. Of all the facts, findings and patterns he’s observed: The key to unlocking resilience and happiness is defiant intentional positivity.
What is most critical to know is this: You must grow your “defiant, intentional positivity” like a muscle.
He has methodically tested positive daily habits that fit into everyday life AND grow the resilience muscle. His practical, time-tested techniques are simple, but profound in their impact.
Dr. Tom has passionately brought his approach to tens of thousands of people through his private counseling practice, speaking, and workshop facilitation. His weekly essays in Sunday Morning Café (SMC) synthesize insights and practices from counseling psychology and contemplative spirituality. The twenty-year-old title for that blog (SMC) Sunday Morning Café comes from the way that Sunday mornings evoke the feeling of a slow, restful morning with a cup of coffee and, for some, a time to practice their spirituality.
In 2025, he saw a new model was needed to activate people to be defiantly, intentionally positive – especially in hard times. For decades now, artists have been singing, painting, and writing about the division, unrest, and loneliness across our culture. There is an aching need for people to come together to experience that: “You’re not alone in your loneliness.” You’re not alone in your commitment to stand in your defiant, intentional positivity, whatever shape that takes for you.
Project Sunday Morning Café is . . .
an experimental model; still offering resilience tools but now also pushing people out of our tech-created isolation to connect more deeply with themselves, each other and God – and remember they are not alone in their loneliness.
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An enduring source of community and resilience pulses at the heart of each person. Recovering how to connect with that Transcendent core of the self is essential work for our time. This work cannot be done in isolation and must be done in community. Project Sunday Morning Cafe is a community dedicated to rebuilding a culture of connection and reintroducing the ancient arts of the practice of the Presence of God – and thus resilience.
Manifesto
The Sunday Morning Cafe will continue as it has for over twenty years as a weekly article, but in response to an aching need of our time, we’re expanding it. Our hypothesis is that we’ll be able to do this best through the forthcoming Project Sunday Morning Cafe Podcast and Live Events. Those are the first bets we are going to place. We’ve already begun experimenting and measuring impact across both platforms - and we’ll continue to do so. If you have thoughts, ideas or feedback on Project Sunday Morning Cafe - email us at Tom@TomWagnerSpeaker.com.
Dr. Tom Wagner is married with three grown children. He resides in St. Louis, MO with his wife and best friend Lisa.