The Thin Veil Between Life and Death
- Dennis Kempf
- Nov 2
- 4 min read
Updated: Nov 6
As the leaves fall and the days grow dim, this is the season poets say the veil between life and death is at its thinnest. This reflection invites you to look closer at our mortality—and discover what gratitude, meaning, and connection can grow there.
The Blog Article Follows this Invitation!
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Much of my attention went into preparing for our SMC event this week, so I’m thrilled to feature a guest author who’s sharing his voice with the SMC community. Enjoy—and I’ll see you next week! Thanks for reading. – Tom
This Week's Guest SMC Author: Dennis Kempf Dennis Kempf is blessed with two independent daughters, four brothers, a sister, and a deep curiosity about the meaning of life, supported by his degree in philosophy.
He feels he has lived the best of multiple lives – seminary for 10 years, visiting 50+ countries while in the travel industry, non-profit work for almost 30 years, and being a dad … for all eternity.
He currently serves as the Director of Philanthropy for the national Society of St. Vincent de Paul, headquartered in St. Louis. In his spare time, you can find him volunteering at a food pantry and visiting families in need, walking/biking through the woods of Forest Park, and enjoying quality time with family and friends.
The Thin Veil Between Life and Death
“We don’t talk about that.” “Stop saying that.” “Don’t worry about that.” These are phrases deeply ingrained in us in reference to talking about a culturally taboo topic - our mortality.
Our culture’s deep fear of facing the inevitable is confounding. But during this season, we are presented with a rich opportunity to do just that.
Poets say that the veil between life and death is at its thinnest at this time of year. Here are some of the reasons why:
Trees shed their leaves.
Every day we lose about 2 minutes of daylight.
Clouds envelop us with long, gray days.
Colder weather reminds us that the dead of winter is coming.
In response, Día de los Muertos is celebrated, as are All Saints' Day, All Souls' Day, and All Hallows Day – days when we hold our deceased close to our hearts. Is it “spooky” to realize that we will join them someday?
Our society begs us to avoid our mortality. Tens of billions are spent on products and surgeries that try to keep us looking young because the appearance of aging reminds us of our imminent death. People don’t “die” anymore – they “pass.” Wakes and funerals used to be multi-day events. Now they are condensed into a few hours, and an increasing number are avoided altogether. It’s like dying is an embarrassment.
Two months into a school year, one of my college professors was able to pinpoint which students in his class were raised on a farm versus us ‘city-ites.’ When asked, he said that we urbanites had far more anxiety while the farm kids were calmer and more centered. He explained that farms help one understand the rhythms of life and death. Planting seeds, seeing crops grow, and then harvested annually sets a pattern. Animals are born, raised, and die. The awareness of life’s rhythm helps center them on what matters most in life.
Author Ernest Becker said that narcissism is a defense mechanism that we as humans use to overcome the terror of our future death.
Yet boldly staring down our fate has so many incredible benefits, should we have the guts to do just that. When reflecting on our mortality, these questions can help put life in perspective:
How do I want to be remembered? (And am I living a life that reflects that?)
What gives my life meaning? Purpose?
In ‘the whole scheme of things,’ is what I’m worried about today really worth it?
Aware of my future death, can I live more fully in the present?
Broadening this to realize that ALL of us will die someday:
Will that open us up to treat others with the dignity we all deserve as humans, no matter if they’re poor, homeless, immigrant, LGBTQI+, etc.?
Might this prompt us to reach out to those who might be lonely, hungry, aging, etc.?
Will this give us the courage to say what we’ve been meaning to say to others? Things like: “I forgive you,” “I love you,” and “I’m ever so grateful for who you’ve been in my life.”
During this time of year, will we listen to nature’s call to be aware of our mortality? Will this help us start letting go of things that really don’t matter?
Facing death can engender an incredibly strong sense of gratitude for every moment with which we’re blessed in this life.
“How rare, and beautiful it is, that we even exist.”
Dialogue and Discussion Questions: Longtime SMC readers know that “the Dialogue” section of this article is set aside for a good conversation over a cup of coffee—with a friend, with a group, or just with yourself! Use the reflection questions mentioned above to guide your conversation, and as always, feel free to share your reaction or reflection in the “Comments” section below.
Please share with the SMC community your thoughts and/or reflections in the comments below.
This article is such a challenge! Leads me to reevaluate the motivation behind my life’s work! And underscores my belief that we are called to live until we die!