The Ground Floor: The Very First Sunday Morning Café Event
- Dr. Tom Wagner
- Jul 13
- 5 min read
The Sacred doesn’t start with answers—it starts with awe. From a backyard loss to a community gathering, this reflection kicks off the Sunday Morning Café you’re invited to attend.
While tickets last! The FIRST-EVER Sunday Morning Café In-Person Event Sunday, July 20
Telva at the Ridge | Webster Groves, MO Virtual option now available!
Enjoy an afternoon of meaningful conversation, soul-soothing reflection, deep connection & laughter led by Dr. Tom Wagner, masterful resilience facilitator. Light food & drink included. Come as you are. No prep needed.
This Sunday marks our very first official Sunday Morning Café Project event. There are still a few in-person spaces available. So…get in there! Sign up!
The mission of this project is to gather adults of all ages and facilitate conversations about the most important things in life…things that give us meaning and things that give us longing. Our founding conviction is that The Sacred pulses at the core of each one of us with an invitation for more Beauty, more Love, more Delight, and when that happens, meaning and purpose tend to follow.
The best spiritual mentors of any tradition never attempt to cram The Sacred down anybody’s throat. Instead, they know how to draw it out with deep respect and delight. Through the medium of story-telling and story-listening, we hope to create a space next week for something fun, refreshing, tasty, musical, and movingly Sacred. If you have to miss this one, catch up with us in the podcast that we’ll create out of this conversation!
How I Got Interested in the SMC Project
In some ways, the Sunday Morning Café Project got started for me in 2003 when I began writing weekly articles that combined spirituality with counseling through the medium of stories. My interest has always been to engage readers in a conversation about meaning and the inner life.
In other ways, this project got its start when five-year-old Tom came across a freshly dead bird in our backyard. The cruelty that could have allowed such a thing to happen was unfathomable to me. By that time, I had already encountered cruelty on account of my eight-year-old neighbor, Mike Bouie. Mike created cruelty on account of the magnifying glass he got for his birthday. He’d sit real still with it on the sidewalk. When a line of ants marched across, he’d burn ‘em alive with a concentrated beam of sunshine, his glass bent to evil purpose. My older brother, Phil, explained that this was just the kind of thing that Nazis did back in the day. He was pretty sure that Mike must be a Nazi. I wasn’t sure what a Nazi was. But, that conversation took me to Mom, who explained that all God’s creatures are sacred, and that God loves them the way Mom loves me…even the ants…even Mike Bouie! Well, that was a lot. Unwittingly, on that day, Mom had set me up for existential horror!
She had introduced me to a kind of anonymous practice of Jainism (among many beliefs: a reverence for all creation). By the time I stumbled across that stone-cold bird in the backyard, who knows how long I had been loving each and every fellow creature the way God does? Even without a magnifying-glass-wielding Dr. Mengele-Mike Bouie around…these creatures that God loves…and that now, I loved…could die! If one of my beloved fellow creatures of God could die of natural causes, guess who else could croak? EVERYBODY I GAVE A SHIT ABOUT!
I don’t remember what exactly Mom said when she encountered my laments. Here is what I know. Somehow, she managed to channel the intensity of my angst into a sacred ritual. Together, we gave that bird a funeral worthy of JFK, who, like my bird, was taken from us in his prime.
Who knows, after all these years, if I recall this sequence of events with total accuracy? But the way I remember it, that same afternoon at naptime, a sense of being totally loved by God flooded into me the way afternoon sunshine flooded into my childhood bedroom. Just before my religious experience, I recall bending, first, my index finger, then a thumb, then all my fingers in unison. Then I bent my arms and legs. I recalled how liquid blood was contained just below my skin, and somehow, all this worked like the most exquisite miracle. The one who put all this together for me, really, really, really must love me!
See what I meant earlier about The Sacred being part and parcel of our inner-most self right from the get-go? A skeptic might say that this was nothing more than the magical thinking of a small child that will eventually be boxed up and given away along with the other childhood toys. When the skeptic in me rears its judgy head, I turn to the findings of researchers like Dacher Keltner. He found that awe and wonder are the birthright of every human being, irrespective of culture or age. The philosopher, Paul Ricoeur, described the common adult experience of the “second naivete,” in which a jaundiced, disillusioned adult has a breakthrough. If we are fortunate, such a breakthrough leads to a return to that original state of wonder and awe that overcame me during my five-year-old naptime.
Back to The Sunday Morning Café Project
The reason for the Sunday Morning Café Project? It’s my dream to facilitate that second naivete. I believe that those of us closer in age to the original state of awe and wonder have so much to teach the rest of us who have developed confining philosophical and theological categories that make The Sacred a tiny, safe thing, rather than an ineffable Presence capable of surprising us at any given moment.
I’m not sure how many Gen X, Gen Z, or Millennials I will attract to the SMC Project. Young people are rightfully suspicious of my generation’s compulsion to teach them something rather than learn from them. All I know is that I want to try. The Original Blessing that the young possess is way too important to be overlooked or ignored.
Dialogue and Discussion Questions: Longtime SMC readers know that “the Dialogue” section of this article is set aside for a good conversation over a cup of coffee—with a friend, with a group, or just with yourself! As always, feel free to share your reaction or reflection in the “Comments” section below.
When was the last time that you had a productive conversation about spirituality or meaning across generational lines? What made it go well?
Who would you imagine could engage in such a discussion with you if you tried? Who do you think you should avoid having a conversation like that with? What’s the difference between the two groups?
Can you name a time in your childhood when you felt a closeness with The Sacred? Would you be willing to tell that story? If you are by yourself, would you be willing to step back into that moment and recall as many details as you can before, during, and after that moment?
Describe your last spiritual experience. Define the word “spiritual” in whatever way makes sense to you. Were you surprised?
Save the date! Sunday Morning Café Event: July 20th
Virtual option now available for those not located in or around St. Louis!
For decades, Dr. Tom’s Sunday Morning Café essays have shared reflections and tools to help strengthen your resilience and live with intentional positivity. Now, he’s expanding Sunday Morning Café to include in-person events—meeting today’s growing need for connection. Save your spot for the first-ever SMC event –– while tickets last!
Sunday Morning Café Event: What is it?
A gathering of adults of all ages to reflect, reconnect, and laugh a little—guided by Dr. Tom’s blend of therapy, spirituality, and real-life resilience.
What you’ll explore:
Finding joy in the everyday
Building resilience during change
Spiritual practices that ground you
Connection that actually feels meaningful
Date: Sunday, July 20th
Time: 4–6 PM CST
Location: Telva at the Ridge | Webster Groves, MO
Cost: $20 | (virtual or under 25) $10
*NEW* virtual tickets now available for those not located in St. Louis!
Please share with the SMC community your thoughts and/or reflections in the comments below.
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