A Wedding Reading
- Dr. Tom Wagner
- 2 hours ago
- 4 min read
Love may be as simple and difficult as this: bearing witness, helping each other carry what we can, and keeping the promise again and again. This reflection shares the readings Lisa and I proclaimed at our son’s wedding.
The blog article follows this announcement!
Don't miss the November 8th SMC event:
Creating from the Soul featuring special guest Javier Mendoza (aka Hobo Cane)
"In many ways it was what I needed. It was lovely and I felt so cared for. The music, food, and talks were wonderful." – SMC Event Attendee
A Wedding Reading
Dear Readers. Last night, my son, John Harry, married his former girlfriend, Sophie! Come to find out, a crush of details and activities comes along with being a parent of a soon-to-be-married child—even when that child is a soon-to-be-groom. Consequently, the best I could do for an article this week was to share the readings that Lisa and I cobbled together and proclaimed at their wedding. We chose them because they came about as close as anything we could think of to succinctly sum up our experience of living out this vocation that we could scarcely imagine thirty-two years ago. Thanks for reading. See you next week, after several really great nights of sleep!
LISA: A reading taken from a letter of Saint Paul to the Colossians (Chapter 3)
Keep in mind that…
God holds an enormous love for you. You are holy and beloved, and so, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Bear with one another. Forgive each other again, and again, and again. If one of you has a grievance against another;
remember that you have been forgiven…
so give the gift that you have received.
And over all these, put on Love,
which holds the rest together, and perfects all the other virtues.
TOM: But what is love in the context of marriage?
A Reading from A Wedding Blessing
TOM: That most simple and difficult thing: love.
There are many things to say,
But what we can say is that love is… made.
It’s made over, and over, and over
In heaven and earth, in hell too.
LISA: It is bearing witness. Someone that says,
“We are caught between the beautiful earth and
the beautiful sky,
and while we are here…
I bear witness to you…
…and the things that are important to you.”
TOM: Helping you to carry what I can help
you with.
Celebrating you
Delighting in you
Knowing the things you think are the worst
things about you
helping you to see…
…and be you…in all of that.
LISA: Hearing and sharing and making stories
helping you reconcile
what it is you hold together in your body,
your past
your sorrows and delights.
Today
and today
and now
and now.
TOM: It is as simple and difficult as that.
Love is a promise made, and made,
and made… And Kept.
LISA: And so. Let us have promises.
Dialogue and Discussion Questions:
Longtime SMC readers know that “the Dialogue” section of this article is set aside for a good conversation over a cup of coffee—with a friend, with a group, or just with yourself! As always, feel free to share your reaction or reflection in the “Comments” section below.
What stood out for you in these two sacred poems? Get curious about why it caught your attention. Sit with it, and try to articulate how it speaks to you.
What did you make of the following lines from Pádraig Ó Tuama's poem?
“But what we can say is that love is… made.
It’s made over, and over, and over
In heaven and earth, in hell too.”
Can you think of experiences in your marriage or close friendship that were made in heaven? Can you think of experiences that were a little more earthy? Can you recall experiences where your love was forged while going through hell?
Who in your life knows the parts of you that you think are the “worst”? Do you remember the first time that someone knew this side of you, and continued to love you? Recall it. Savor it.
In this paraphrased version of Paul’s letter to the Colossians, he speaks of the need to forgive again, and again, and again. Marital researchers have noted that in every good marriage, there is an issue or two that will never fully be resolved. From the spiritual perspective that Paul is alluding to—each time those issues reappear, they are a call for more patience, more humor, and more intelligence at the service of love. In your marriage, or deeply close friendship, can you name an issue that fits this description? Can you reflect upon how that issue has been a gift to you and your beloved?
Are you in need of an infusion of patience, humor, and intelligent love to navigate a difficulty in a relationship in this moment of your life? Where do you suppose you will go to find that infusion?
Please share with the SMC community your thoughts and/or reflections in the comments below.
Comments