marriage | Dr.TomWagner

Dr. Tom has been sharing refreshing, insightful essays on his Sunday Morning Café blog since 2009. Each Sunday, he brings his extensive experience from resilience research, counseling, and consulting to help you find more connection, meaning, and joy in life. We're so glad you're here to grow with this community!

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The Boundary of Freedom: Acceptance

Ever been stuck wishing life was different? A sick trip to Ireland, the adventures of a marital counselor, and a monk’s unexpected wisdom all point to one powerful truth. What if the thing standing between you and peace… is your refusal to accept what is?

Dr. Tom Wagner

Aug 25 min read

Hands sort scattered Polaroid photos on a wooden table, holding one beach snapshot; casual, nostalgic mood.

Intimacy with Self as Prerequisite for Intimacy with Another

Real intimacy with another—whether a friend, a spouse, or even God—requires deep self-knowledge that includes self-love. This article explores how coming to know your own signature stories and their impact can deepen intimacy with yourself.

Dr. Tom Wagner

Jul 261 min read

Foundations for a Brand New Marriage, or Making a Tired Marriage Brand New

The forming stage of a couple is not just romantic; it is formative. This reflection invites you to examine the roles, rules, and rhythms you are setting in place for the long haul.

Dr. Tom Wagner

Mar 13 min read

An empty bird's nest in a tree, signifying the empty nest stage of a marriage after the kids grow up and leave the house

Autumn Love: Building Resilient Marriages When the Nest is Empty

When the children leave home and togetherness increases, how will you navigate what it means to be individuals in the midst of it? This reflection explores resilient marriages in the empty nest phase of life.

Dr. Tom Wagner

Feb 224 min read

Relationship Repair: The Heart of Resilience

Close relationships will expose parts of you that still need maturing. The question is not whether you’ll fail — but whether you’ll repair. This reflection walks through what a real apology requires.

Dr. Tom Wagner

Feb 152 min read

Marriage Isn’t Hard Work; It’s Mostly Play

When relationships become all maintenance and no delight, something essential goes missing. This reflection explores how play restores the ease that love needs to endure.

Dr. Tom Wagner

Feb 86 min read

Why You Do NOT Have to Marry the Wrong Person

Your choice of spouse is the most important decision you will ever make. Here is a set of procedures, based on common-sense research, to choose a spouse wisely.

Dr. Tom Wagner

Feb 14 min read

Marriage: A People Growing Machine

What if the limits you keep meeting in your closest relationships are the very engine of your growth? A reflection on marriage, endurance, and human formation.

Dr. Tom Wagner

Jan 256 min read

In Praise of the Good Enough

There is something to be said for the good enough marriage—where flaws, over time, are slowly turned into gifts. This reflection explores commitment, growth, and shared purpose.

Dr. Tom Wagner

Jan 186 min read

Intentional Friendships: a Guest SMC Author!

The irony of friendship? We long for closeness, but sometimes resist the very vulnerability that creates it. This piece invites you to take the small, brave steps that lead to a lifetime of walking side by side.

Annalise Wagner

Aug 10, 20256 min read

Massive rock cliffs with vibrant green grass towering over the sea in Ireland in soft light

The Boundary of Freedom: Acceptance.

Ever felt stuck wishing life were different? A soggy trip to Ireland, a rocky marriage, and a monk’s quiet wisdom all lead to one surprising truth: maybe peace begins with acceptance.

Dr. Tom Wagner

Feb 8, 20255 min read

Explore the full archive of Sunday Morning Café blogs from 2009 through 2024.

BLOG ARCHIVE

CATEGORIES

The Boundary of Freedom: Acceptance

Intimacy with Self as Prerequisite for Intimacy with Another

Foundations for a Brand New Marriage, or Making a Tired Marriage Brand New

Autumn Love: Building Resilient Marriages When the Nest is Empty

Relationship Repair: The Heart of Resilience

Marriage Isn’t Hard Work; It’s Mostly Play

Why You Do NOT Have to Marry the Wrong Person

Marriage: A People Growing Machine

In Praise of the Good Enough

Intentional Friendships: a Guest SMC Author!

The Boundary of Freedom: Acceptance.

Explore the full archive of Sunday Morning Café blogs from 2009 through 2024.

Receive weekly Sunday Morning Café essays in your inbox.