Each and Every Soul Has Some Easter In It, No Exceptions
- Dr. Tom Wagner
- 4 days ago
- 5 min read
What if there’s a part of you that already knows how to “keep climbing” when things get hard? This reflection explores the resilience woven into every soul.
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A Note to Readers:
As I mentioned last week, I’m really excited about our guest presenter for next week at our April 12 SMC event. Dr. Tim Bono, happiness researcher, author, and presenter, will lead the reflection and discussion this time around. I’m also psyched to have you experience our musical talent, Ms. Jennifer Theby-Quinn and Mr. Carl Pandolfi. You are in for a treat. Also, this time around, we will take full advantage of the beauty of our venue. We’ll meet on the outdoor patio at 3:00 pm for socializing over appetizers and refreshments. As of this moment, there are still tickets available. I hope to see you there.
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Each and Every Soul Has Some Easter In It, No Exceptions
Right next to my bookshelf, I keep a whittled walking stick in my psychotherapy office. It’s not there for any practical reason. I keep it, because it marks the day, over fifteen years ago, when ten-year-old John Harry took a lazy afternoon, and an aspen branch, and transformed them into a walking stick…one knife scrape at a time. The origin story of that stick makes it precious to me. It’s also precious on account of the story it anchors. Here and there, when a client is facing a stout uphill climb, I’ll share the story that goes with that stick.
When the Climbing Gets Hard
The campfire where my son whittled away on a lazy afternoon was at the center of our basecamp on a mountain that stretched fourteen thousand-plus feet into the atmosphere. Our plan was to begin our climb just before sunrise, so that we could summit, and get back down before the afternoon thunderstorms. I’d trained some, and we got to Colorado several days earlier to get acclimated to elevation. It didn’t seem to matter. It was right around twelve thousand feet that our flatlander respiratory and circulatory systems started chugging and wheezing. Each step came at a cost. At one point, my son thought he’d lie down for a little nap. As you might imagine, “No!” It was either go up, or go home. We decided to go up…with a few adjustments. We emptied the contents of his backpack into mine, including his weighty water supply.
If a kindly Sherpa happened by, and offered to carry my pack, I would have gladly handed it over. No one made such an offer. So, JH and I put together a makeshift strategy. We’d pick a landmark twenty or so feet ahead. Once we’d achieved that milestone, we’d reward ourselves with a handful of trail mix, and a sip of water. A trick I learned while cycling stout hills came in handy for this climb. While hiking, we were careful about where we placed our eyes. We intentionally kept them off the seemingly unattainable summit, and on our short-term goal twenty feet ahead. At times, it felt like we were making no progress whatsoever. But then, we’d round a corner with a little overlook. “Wasn’t that exactly where we were just a few minutes ago?” By looking at how far we’d come, it gave us encouragement to believe we’d get that far again in the next equivalent stretch of time.
Around another bend in the trail, we’d find ourselves at a scenic overlook. Miles and miles of mountain majesty stretched out…not like a movie…not like a photograph, but like a place that our work initiated us into, and therefore, a place where we belonged. Did I still notice the weight on my back? Yup, I sure did. But somehow it didn’t seem so burdensome. The scenic beauty was only just one part of it. More importantly, there was the deep-down Beauty of knowing that I was sharing this with my son. I asked him, “Do you know where else I’d rather be right now?” He guessed my answer, because it was his answer too. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here, right now, with you!”
An Easter Reflection
The longer I live, the more I can see that there is no experience in life that is unambiguously happy and trouble-free. In some ways, our capacity to carry the weight of unhappiness makes space for whatever amount of happiness is available in any given situation. In my religious tradition, we celebrate Easter, not because that event took an eraser to suffering or death. Rather, we believe that our suffering and even our death can be transformed into vehicles for deeper meaning and new life. My Catholic tradition is famously lampooned for the core belief that the crosses in our lives are the switchback pathways to the summit—which is warm intimacy with the Ground and Horizon of our being.
In my psychotherapy practice, as well as my research, I’ve come to believe that each and every human soul comes into the world with a little Easter tucked into it. I’ve also found that knit into our being are instincts to get to that part of the self that chooses to “go up” rather than give up. On a mountain, fifteen-plus years ago, my son and I put some of that wisdom to use including: accepting whatever the journey holds with all its inconveniences; allowing somebody to share your load (Bill Withers, RIP); taking custody of where you place your attention; and last but not least, conducting Beauty Checks, and savoring that Beauty to feed the soul the necessary energy to do hard things.
Dialogue and Discussion Questions:
Longtime SMC readers know that “the Dialogue” section of this article is set aside for a good conversation over a cup of coffee—with a friend, with a group, or just with yourself! As always, feel free to share your reaction or reflection in the “Comments” section below.
What stood out for you in this article? What did it remind you of in your life? Did anything in it cause dissonance? If so, what do you suppose that dissonance is?
What is the stout climb in your life these days? Are you utilizing any of the strategies mentioned in this article including: (1) acceptance of the hard situation as it is; (2) sharing your load with someone(s); (3) intentionally choosing where you place your attention, including feeding yourself with positivity; (4) engaging in regular Beauty Checks that include savoring the Beauty in your life?
If you are in a discussion group, or with a discussion partner, name some of the signature past challenges in your life that you’ve had to navigate. Pick the most significant one, and tell that story. See what your listeners hear in that story that reveals the “Easter” that is tucked into your soul. In other words, listen for your own signature qualities of resilience. If you are by yourself, use this question for self-reflection.
Next Sunday, Sunday Morning Café will host guest presenter, Dr. Tim Bono, happiness scholar, professor and author. His topic: “From Post-Traumatic Stress to Post-Traumatic Growth: Perspectives on Extracting Meaning from Adversity.” What wisdom has adversity taught you? Is there a past situation where it’s hard to find any wisdom because of the profound nature of the adversity?
Please share with the SMC community your thoughts and/or reflections in the comments below.
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