Hip to Be Holy Part Two
- Dr. Tom Wagner
- Dec 7
- 5 min read
You don’t get to choose when fear taps you on the shoulder. But you can choose what steadies you. This piece invites you to consider what might ground you when life shifts.
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Hip to Be Holy Part Two
Last April Fool’s Day, I had my left hip replaced. Yesterday morning, we repeated the process on my right side. In April, a fear-cleansing river of laughter was the pre-op medicine that soothed my fear. This time, another methodology showed up. Have a look.
Another Thanksgiving (TG) has come and gone. Two things about TG-25 make it stand out for me. Firstly, after seven years, TG came back home. Our house is where the tradition of Lisa’s family coming together for TG got started back in 2005. Secondly, I was scheduled to get my hip replaced on the following Tuesday. One day, you’re the sheriff of TG, four days later, you’re the turkey splayed out in a surgical suite!
Speaking of “splaying” and “surgery,” I’ve been known to spatchcock a turkey or two in my day. “Spatchcocking” refers to the removal of the gobbler’s backbone. This allows for opening up the bird like a book, then laying it flat, bone-side down on the rack, meat side up. Besides dramatically cutting cooking time, this method reveals how an animal’s bones and joints articulate…and disarticulate.
Some years, I make turkey-thigh roulades. This involves the amputation of the thighs from the Tom turkey. The femur must be carefully removed to preserve the integrity of the soon-to-be meat pancake that will be rolled and tied with stuffing in it. Again, a home cook suddenly adopts the skills and mindset of an orthopedic surgeon…same goes for the carving process.
Speaking of which, did I mention I had my right hip replaced yesterday morning? That meant that on Tom Turkey Thursday, I was doing a lot of thinking about Tom Surgery Tuesday…especially during those times when I was the doctor performing orthopedic surgery on my brined and stuffed TG Tom. Come to find out, meditation on the rending of flesh, the cleaving of thigh meat, and the sawing of bones is not the best mental prep for hip replacement surgery. It makes a patient given to anxiety, a little jittery. Fortunately for me, the events of Monday washed away the pre-op yips. Want to hear about it?
How a Ritual from My Religious Tradition Opened the Door for Pre-Surgery Peace
My Catholic priest friend, Mitch, asked me if I would want to get “anointed” before the surgery. I more or less said, “Why not?”
He came by early on the Monday before my surgery. After enjoying a cup of coffee, he went to work, praying the appropriate words and spreading oil on my hands and forehead in the shape of a cross. Maya Angelou once said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” In the midst of this ritual, I closed my eyes, and the words fell away. What was left, during that ritual, were the faces of people who have loved and supported me, and passed on to the next life. My conviction is that they are now intimately joined with God. I have long regarded them as conduits to the Divine. In the midst of this experience, I recognized a peace coming over me. Next, a question emerged. “What is the purpose of this health and recovery you're praying for?” It struck me with the significance of Mary Oliver’s famous quote, “What will you do with this one, wild life of yours?” The experience of praying with my ancestors gave me peace. The emerging question gave me a kind of urgency to get moving. Not a bad way to approach a surgery.
Just after Mitch left, it was time to walk the dog. Whenever I do that, my habit is to go to the 350-year-old Prayer Tree in the park by my house. I brought the ancestors with me, along with the question about my remaining purpose on this planet. There I found myself praying Ignatius’ “Take Lord Receive” prayer (known as The Suscipe). It amounts to a big fat “yes” to whatever God might be calling me to for the remaining years of my life.
That night, my kids Zoomed me. Annoyed, at first, to have my Pre-Surgery To Do List interrupted, annoyance gave way to deep gratitude. They simply wanted to pray over their dad for a successful surgery and peace in my heart. For many years, the most consistent prayer I have prayed has been that they might develop an intimate relationship with the Sacred within them. That night, I learned that those prayers are being answered.
At four in the morning, on the day of my surgery, my dog, Winnie, and I visited the Prayer Tree one last time to the same effect as the day before. Next, we drove on snowy roads to the hospital. I did my morning meditation the whole way.
It took almost no time at all to get to the pre-op room where they strip you, gown you, stick you, and glue leads on you. At one point, my physician wife said, “Your blood pressure and heart rate are like those of an athlete. They’re low. You must be relaxed.” That was exactly right. I was at peace.
Dialogue and Discussion Questions:
Longtime SMC readers know that “the Dialogue” section of this article is set aside for a good conversation over a cup of coffee—with a friend, with a group, or just with yourself! As always, feel free to share your reaction or reflection in the “Comments” section below.
What stood out to you in this article? Was there anything that caused some dissonance? Was there anything you could identify with?
For almost five years, I’ve been sitting for two twenty-minute rounds of Centering Prayer a day, one in the morning, and one at night. I believe this habit to be the landing pad for the grace that started showing up on Monday morning, culminating in the peace I experienced on Tuesday morning before the surgery. What spiritual habit is embedded in your day like an invariant ritual?
Never underestimate the value of the small things. The Holy arrives in the smallest openings. If your life-cycle phase doesn’t provide you time for extended meditation, what small thing can you do to build a habit? I used to meditate on a sacred text every morning from three to five minutes, searching for a phrase to take into my day. I know someone who meditates in the morning for as long as it takes to steep her tea. There is a classic habit that takes almost no time at all. It involves looking back over the last twenty-four hours to savor the goodness, beauty, and love of the previous day. Then it shifts to looking down into the upcoming day, anticipating opportunities to receive and to give goodness, beauty, and love. If you are playing with the idea of starting a daily spiritual practice from scratch, what small practice is realistic for you to try on?
Please share with the SMC community your thoughts and/or reflections in the comments below.
Comments